The Girl from Ipanema

15Jul09

Well, ladies, it’s Summertime and if you’re living in the Southern half of the United States, you might be the hottest you’ve ever been in July. Why not improve your air conditioning and moxie in about 30 minutes at your local spa or waxing studio?
It’s time for a little girl talk, about that enigmatic bikini wax: The Brazilian! Maravilha!

Why Wax?
Most of us prefer some hair-removal method in our bikini region. Whether we’re trying to look groomed in a modest swimsuit, or muito sexy for our sweetheart, there are several options. I personally prefer laser hair removal, or for girls on a tighter budget, waxing. Waxing will leave your skin completely bare and smooth for 3-6 weeks and regular treatments will make your regrowth finer in time. You’ll avoid razor burn, stinky chemicals, and blunt stubble.

Why a Brazilian?
Brazil has given us Jesus Luz, Giselle Bundchen, and the world’s tiniest swimwear… ’nuff said. A Brazilian wax keeps you cooler, and looks impossibly chic. I wax and laser women for a living, and at least 90% of my clients are taking it all off. The remaining 10% are working up to it. “All of it?” you say? Mmm hmm. That’s a Brazilian, Baby.

What if I want to leave a little up top or in the middle?
Well, first I’d like to know why? Because if you wanted to shave your head, but were feeling conservative, you wouldn’t choose a mohawk instead, right? And if you’re concerned about looking “prepubescent” keep in mind that the Brazilian has become so commonplace that you’d need a magnifying glass to find a single hair among most women under 30, Hollywood starlets, New York fashionistas, or the pervasive Playmate population. Mores have changed.

So what should I expect from a Brazilian Wax? Won’t that hurt a lot?
Waxing, in general, smarts. The great thing about the Brazilian is that a proper waxing is done with a type of wax called “hard wax.” Hard wax is applied to cleansed and powdered skin and pulls off in a quick motion (which stings), without first sticking to the skin. If you have ever had your eyebrows waxed, you’ve most likely experienced “strip wax,” so-called because the waxer lays a strip of muslin or paper over the soft wax and then pulls the whole mess off. It’s stickier and takes a light layer of skin cells with it. While strip wax is great for tiny areas on the face, hard wax makes for a much more tolerable Brazilian.

You should make sure your hair will be about the length of an eyelash on your appointment day. You can achieve this by using a trimmer with a guard, or shaving completely about 3 weeks beforehand. You’ll schedule your follow-up waxes every time your hair reaches this all-important length. Fully-grown shrubbery is a nightmare to wax, and will lead to undue pain and bruising. The day before your Brazilian, exfoliate with a microdermabrasion scrub like Khiel’s Epidermal Re-Texturizing Micro-Dermabrasion. This will fluff up your hair follicles and remove and dead skin cells that could cause ingrown hairs. About 30 minutes prior to your appointment, pop 400-600 mg of ibuprofen (Advil or Motrin). This will help dull any discomfort and prevent redness and swelling. When you arrive at the spa, your aesthetician will probably ask you to fill out a brief questionnaire about your health history. Then you’ll be given a spa wrap to change into. I usually offer a hand towel to drape with because you will need to remove your undies. Personally, I cover all of your private areas except the few square inches I’m working on. A good aesthetician will work quickly, and about the pain… Let’s look at this logically: ladies are built to push babies through their nether region. In all honesty, waxing your innermost, undermost bikini area is less painful than waxing the areas adjacent to your hips and tummy. If your wax is unbearably painful, causes bruises, bleeding, or short broken hairs, change providers por favor. After your treatment, a wax-removal product is used to whisk away any bits of wax that have been left behind. I like Dr. Hauschka Birch Arnica Body Oil for this. You can keep some at home in case you find yourself needing a more thorough cleanup. Arnica prevents bruising, and once you’ve oiled up the area, any remaining wax will come right off in the shower. In my experience, a proper waxing with hard wax and a quick hand leaves you only slightly red. This effect calms within an hour. If you have an extreme reaction to your treatment, try a little over the counter cortisone cream for a night or two.

Finally, a word about modesty. I will never ask you to climb into an embarrassing body position to complete your treatment. If you keep up with your yoga or pilates, or are generally fit, I’ll be able to access all of your hair with a few bends of your knees. If you don’t feel comfortable with the way your waxer conducts your treatment, don’t give up on Brazil! Express your concerns at the time of the treatment (humor usually helps diffuse any tension) or tell the spa manager that you’d like to try a different aesthetician next time.

The bottom line, hee hee, is that a Brazilian wax is nothing to be afraid of. At $35-$75 a pop, it’s a good investment during the blazing hot swimwear season. Afterword, you’ll feel dishy, groomed, and muito quente… Blame it on the Bossa Nova!

Austin readers can see me for a Brazilian wax at Sabia. $60.

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Tags: bikini, Brazil, Brazilian, depilatory, grooming, shaving, swimwear, waxing